Well, after 3 months records of no MCs, today I'm given 2 days of medical leave from the doc. My flu has not yet recover and also down with cough and headache. Since I'm giving lessons on thursday, I guess I should rest fully to try to minimise my virus being spread around.
Anyway, sometimes I really don't understand my mom. I'm really sick and proven so with 2 days of MC, but why she still nags at me to go back to work? Haiz, adults, really cannot understand them, though I'm an adult too.
I know most likely she feels that I'm over-tired cuz of having 2 jobs, and just want me to focus on my main job. But I told her, if the main job pays very well, of course I'll jus focus on it. BUT the pay jus.... (very sad to say lah).
And also my dad's feet is hurting him pretty badly due to his ever so long standing hours as a Chef, he's been thinking of resigning. All the more now I need more income. My brother's also goin into university next year. How is the family going to cope? Sooner or later, I will still need the money. Sometimes its a no choice.

Oh well... Just hope that everything goes smoothly for my second job.
I know I can do it. Jus gimme mental support.

Today I should be proud of myself. I managed to close a deal(my part-time), and being the only female amongst my male colleagues, the first to close a deal in the pure cold market. I should really feel proud and everything...
However, WHY am I feeling in the dumps right at this moment?
Well... Not sure about other Cancerians out there, I guess I really have a terrible case of mood swings. Swing from all time high, to all time low now. I don't even feel like talking to my folks bout my accomplishment today. WHY?
I am still trying to figure it out. Here are some possible reasons:

- I need a break from all these work
- I need someone in my life to share all the joy and pains (not referring to my family members)
- I had this someone, but its over already. I want to move on, but I don't know what he wants.
(Huh? Well, here's the story. If only he's reading too... We broke up, still frenz. Recently, when I've decided to move on with life and try not to think so much about it, he contacted me. Reason: To come over to my place to rest while waiting for his work to start, and wondering if I'm home. Well, first impact, we've broke up, why would you want to come over to rest. What's his intentions? Even as normal friends, I don't really think you'll have such a question, right? Or is this a common practice nowadays that I'm not aware of? So now you know more or less this story. Okay, back to my reasons)

- How am I going to meet my target?
- Why is my life in such a mess?
- Why guys can be such idiots. ( A very mild term is used, but I'm very unhappy)

Argh! Why, why, why, why... Can someone tell me why? Or is there someone out there, an expert in astrological reading can give me some guidance in life.
Well, I'm a person that belives in astrology, feng shui, these kinda stuffs. Cause, they hold some truth to me. I do want to try tarot reading, but not sure how to go about doing it.
I need some signs....
Are the things that I'm doing, the actions I make, all the steps I take, are they to my bestest benefits.
Is this the right way to go? Should I do this instead. All these questions always go through my mind.
Oh man... How can I change... What do these thoughts actually indicate? Does it mean I'm not confident?

Like I said in one of my post, I care a lot about "face". I care a lot about how others see me. I always want to show that I'm good, that I'm handling things well, that I'm capable. But kinda wierd that I'm saying all these now online. Hah, thats why i say, I'm very messy.

Any suggestions? Anyone?
Oh well.... Guess I need to solve this tough life equation on my own.

I'm so tired..............

Well well, its been a week since my worst lesson(see previous post). This week, they were better behaved i would say, but still, not to my expectations. The tuesday class which had given me a major headache previously, is still giving me a headache. But perhaps I can say, its been shifted from a migraine to headache. (Any difference?) However, I still had to punish around 9 boys. (Why are girls often more well-behaved than boys?)
As this was the last lesson, they had to finish up their project, upload into the server, do an evaluation on the course, and after all this has been done, I allowed them to surf the internet.
So, what is the punishment that I've enforced? The boys didn't have the chance the touch the computer at all. Firstly, I let the girls go back to their Mac and do their work, den I let the boys remain seated on the floor. Then I slowly choose the better behaved boys back to their Mac. And since the remaining 9 boys kept showing me that they couldn't be bothered to behave, I also don't allow them to have the chance back. I actually had boys, begging me to let them go back, unfortunately, they were not the 9 boys.

Anyway, both my tues and thurs classes is finally over, now comes the headache part too. Marking their work! Oh man... another headache. Sigh...

My weekends are already so busy, (not with BGR) how am I going to find tiime to mark their work.. SIGH~

Hmm... Its saturday already, and I hope I can achieve what I'm supposed to today. If you are wondering what it is, I'll tell you, but not now. =) Though a hint would be - It has nothing to do with BGR, family, or teaching related.

Answers, will be revealed.... Just don't know when. Keep guessing

Well, if I've not mention before, I'm a IT Trainer, aka Computer Teacher, who's currently based in a primary school. Have been with this school since July, taught quite a number of classes already, and today's the worst so far...
Not sure what happened to them, they were very active. I would say too active. They couldn't sit still, their mouth couldn't shut.. I was having a hard time trying to get their attention.
Managed to teach them something and get them to do their work. Thought things are going well, but turned out they weren't really listening. So their hands keep rising in the air, calling "Ms. Neo, Ms. Neo" or "teacher, teacher". Well, it was still manageable, until 15 minutes towards the end of the lesson, one of the kids asked for permission to go to the washroom, but turned out, he was goin to carry his bag.
One of my students told me about his action and I went out to see, true enough, he's already 4 metres away from the computer lab. I went to him, demanding to know what he's doing, whether he's really interested in going home or what does he want. And he can tell me that he don't know... Then had a small talk with him.
Brought him back to the lab, den 4 more complaints coming my way.
The 4 of them were fiddling with each other's PC causing data to be gone. Then they started to point fingers at each other.
Toward the end of the lesson, I was just so tired of shouting, I just told them to save their work and shut down the pc.
Thinking that they'll be quiet soon and ready to go home, but boy, I was very wrong.
They still can't keep still. So, instead of shouting out their homework, I typed on PowerPoint and told them to write it down.
And then I added one more slide and I wrote "I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE CLASS TODAY". Silence start to emerge...
Then of course I had to let them know the reason why I am disappointed... And before I let them go, I asked, if I'll have a better impression on the last lesson next week, they answered "YES"..
But...I have my reservation on this... Hopefully coming thursday's class, won't have the same episode.

SIgh~ I need a hug...
Anyone can spare one?